Questioning

Forgiveness…is this what I am seeking in the broken mirror?
Or am I learning how to feel again?
Redemption – all there is already is forgiven –
Or am I not deserving yet?

Psychological trauma. Every word returns to itself.
Am I striving to be a champion?
Or am I turning to rip myself?
I really don’t know, and I am tired to pretend that I care.
It’s just I think… I constantly think
That I had enough grief in my share…

I jest. I laugh. I play –
Games and enchanted stories.
I guess I’ve been depressed for so long
I forgot how happiness feels.
It should be sad. It must be suicidal.
However, I jest. I laugh.
It feels disobedience. I feel obscene.

Amazing how I know the simple words and syllables and style –
How music takes me away; takes me as a virgin greedy for touch
And I bloom like a flower in the rain
Whitened rose in the warm winter dessert
And it feels like stars among dirt.

ACROSS SCARS AND UNIVERSE –
LONELINESS
IT SCARES ME. IT DIGNIFIES ME. IT DESTROYS ME.

And I will be dead if decaying can be that.
Can it? Or can it not?

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s