I wish I was careless –
I wish I could bash my eyelids and lie trough my teeth.
I wish I could sent electronic hearts and swear that I love you,
After knowing you for a week.
I wish I could back out and say that I’m sorry,
I wish I was pliant, but I’m not.
I refuse to say something besides what I feel,
And if it’s not real – It.is.not.REAL!
I will not dance on the edge of politeness –
Smile plastic, cheeks under the mask soaked in bitter tears.
If I rage it would be dreadfully drastic.
I’ll burn the god dammed essence, not just a bridge.
But if it doesn’t touch me… If I don’t get the vibe,
I’ll be numb and uncharacteristically static,
And all your jabs will be in vain.
I have told…I have told you!
You’ve ignored me…. I’m not responsible for your pain.