I wish I was careless –

I wish I could bash my eyelids and lie trough my teeth.

I wish I could sent electronic hearts and swear that I love you,

After knowing you for a week.

I wish I could back out and say that I’m sorry,

I wish I was pliant, but I’m not.

I refuse to say something besides what I feel,

And if it’s not real – It.is.not.REAL!

I will not dance on the edge of politeness –

Smile plastic, cheeks under the mask soaked in bitter tears.

If I rage it would be dreadfully drastic.

I’ll burn the god dammed essence, not just a bridge.

But if it doesn’t touch me… If I don’t get the vibe,

I’ll be numb and uncharacteristically static,

And all your jabs will be in vain.

I have told…I have told you!

You’ve ignored me…. I’m not responsible for your pain.