It’s petty to plead for such a thing,

There’s nothing wrong with life.

But since I was a child and in fright,

I turned to you my desperate sight.

 

You hear my heart is fluttering, no doubt,

Head swimming with confusion – I feel sick.

I’m scared, so scared – and frail, weak!

I loath it! How I loath it!

It’s not…I don’t…Refuse to be so meek.

But here I am

After decades of crying; of crawling through the glass

and hate

I still presume I need to take

The responsibility

As if I have ability to carry world upon my shoulders!

Har! Har!

I am but human. I can’t control reality beyond my grasp,

I barely can deal with my own,

and I don’t own “apology” for something they have done!

I’m not to blame! No guilt. Just none!

It’s sounds refreshing – liberating,

And I did know it all before,

So why, oh, why I cannot shut that door?

Why thoughts keep circling in my head?

Why slight mistake makes me half dead

And I’m shaking, spiraling out control –

I guess the tough, sharp person

Still unfolds.

 

Hear me, my Father, please, I beg,

don’t push me over my big head.

I know I should. I swear I try,

But, please, my Lord, don’t make me …

Please.