I’ve got unsettled today. One of my friends (I don’t really believe in friendship, because I’m an idealist, and you can guess that my expectations in friendship are just impossible to match; but no worries there, because I’m also a pragmatical cynic and hypocritical realist, which means I do have close acquaintance(s) that prove to be useful. However, I am,also, a helpless romantic, thus I love them to pieces…complicated) asked me about my blog – do I earn something? How many followers do I have – likes, comments? I, honestly, felt dumbfounded.

I mean, yeah, sure – I was ecstatic when I got my first like and first follower, than the second and so on – I’m forever grateful to all of my readers (or pass-goers). Naturally, my ego flourishes under the kind nourishment and occasional praise, but I would be grateful for one “like” as much as I am for thousand.

In essence it does not matter. My blog is three months old – give or take. I’ve been writing, since I was twelve (so it’s eighteen years of chasing letters) – for myself and I still do it – there are many stories that I will never show. I feel no need to do it. Writing is a compulsion for me. I simply cannot stop doing it – recognized or not.

Internet made it easier – I think for me it is a battle of beliefs – I’m contradictory, if not fractured – I believe that stories should be read, otherwise why they are written and simultaneously I believe that it does not matter if it’s read – if it wanted to get out it should – audience is not important – do your thing, no matter who’s watching.

So, in a sense, I do not care about popularity, but I care about my reader – does it make sense? That’s why I don’t go out and make myself known – I do what I like to do, regardless of “likes” that’ll bring.

It’s nice to connect, but I think I amazingly suck at it – too often I stare at the post that I like and don’t leave a comment, because … I just don’t. It’s bothersome, if to be honest – putting my two cents into every blank space – my “thank you” won’t change much – sincerely, it will do nothing at all.

Popularity takes time and effort, that I’m not willing to give. I don’t see the benefits.

That’s what I said. I got laughed at. The person didn’t see the point of having a blog if I’m not making it popular.

Well, I guess, like with the point of this piece – it got lost in translation.

p.s. I wonder do you wanna get popular? Will you stop writing if you don’t? Define popular to me – what’s it for you?

9 thoughts on “Musings

  1. You’ve really written your heart in this one, and I like that! Personally, yeah, I’d love to get popular. I love writing too much to not one day do it full-time. But that’s not my main driving force. As I mentioned earlier in the week, you have to write intrinsically because that’s the kind of stuff that will lead to long-term contentment for both writer and audience.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. To me popular means when you are able to fully involve yourself into something that you love. This is a honest post liz and i loved it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve been blogging for a long time and I never until know even noticed likes and follows. I made my blog for myself. I don’t know what other people like to read, only what I like. I’m not a mind reader! lol hopefully I’ll get popular but I’ve always had trouble keeping friends. I keep myself busy with art projects. Blogging is one of them! I appreciate the honest post and all your complex complexes lol

    Liked by 1 person

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