You laid your claim on me before I could crawl from my mother’s belly –

through harsh words and faulty accusations

you made sure your stigma burned and scared.

I ignored you for a decade, touching out of curiosity

and covering unholy recognition with childish giggles.

You appeared out of nowhere,

offended by my lack of belief in you

you raped my naivety, taking my innocence brutally

braking me so thoroughly that even after years of searching and gluing

I am still a pale shadow of my former self

But then again, my former self does not exist anymore.

I am my own construct

built around the gaping, bleeding hole you’ve created.

I longed for you. I’ve called you. I love you.

It’s such a shame that I cannot simply embrace you

Forsake and forget, subcoming to your darkest desires

I yearn,

but my thirst for life is still stronger than your bluish, hypnotizing flames

Truly, such a shame.


Gustav Holst, Ode to Death

3 thoughts on “Ode

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