You’re the one to whom I own an apology,

If to think about it – the only one.

I shunned and abused you without shame for so long,

It’s a miracle I don’t have to write an epitaph.

 

Gods, you are magnificent!

You withstood the comically brutal shit

I have put you trough and others encouraged,

Without heavy retributions or pitiful whining.

 

You didn’t hold it against me, bravely enduring

Betrayals, neglect, harsh criticism and demands –

for better; for more; for giving and disfiguring;

You smirk and did whatever I saw fit you to do.

 

You haven’t punished me for it,

Not on a scale you should have.

Standing by me and pushing me forward,

Encouraging and loving, when I didn’t deserve to be cared for.

 

You nurtured me. You adore me still.

It took more time than it should –

But here I am, sliding on my knees and pleading –

Forgive me, my formidable, loyal sunshine.

 

I know it won’t be “alright”

“Sorry”, even the most sincerest and torturous one –

Doesn’t create miracles and fix the cracked foundation

But it’s a tiny step forward into the right direction.

 

However, when you, dearest woman, finally raise your eyes

Our gazes meet squarely.

I am not hiding and I know I am forgiven –

You smile at me through the mirror.