You’re the one to whom I own an apology,
If to think about it – the only one.
I shunned and abused you without shame for so long,
It’s a miracle I don’t have to write an epitaph.
Gods, you are magnificent!
You withstood the comically brutal shit
I have put you trough and others encouraged,
Without heavy retributions or pitiful whining.
You didn’t hold it against me, bravely enduring
Betrayals, neglect, harsh criticism and demands –
for better; for more; for giving and disfiguring;
You smirk and did whatever I saw fit you to do.
You haven’t punished me for it,
Not on a scale you should have.
Standing by me and pushing me forward,
Encouraging and loving, when I didn’t deserve to be cared for.
You nurtured me. You adore me still.
It took more time than it should –
But here I am, sliding on my knees and pleading –
Forgive me, my formidable, loyal sunshine.
I know it won’t be “alright”
“Sorry”, even the most sincerest and torturous one –
Doesn’t create miracles and fix the cracked foundation
But it’s a tiny step forward into the right direction.
However, when you, dearest woman, finally raise your eyes
Our gazes meet squarely.
I am not hiding and I know I am forgiven –
You smile at me through the mirror.