Exes

I honestly suck at “normal” relationships. I am incompetent. Mainly because I do not get the half of the customs that goes with it, and unavoidably I constantly put my foot in my mouth.

One of many, many things I struggle with is “the talk about the exes.”

Who the hell decided that this is a good chat anyway? Why do you need this conversation at all, and while we at it – how you organically pop the question?

It’s like: Dear, would you like to have red or white with it, and by the way, how many people you’ve banged before me?

Awkward.

Tell me is there really someone who truly want to know how many? Is there someone who haven’t lied?

Because we are still living in a society where women tend to minimise their exploits, thinking that they would be perceived as promiscuous and men exaggerate, thinking that it will add to their overall appeal.

No and no.

Easy is easy. That’s how it goes, whether you have a hole or a stick.

But the most beautiful part is – it doesn’t matter! It does not define you. It’s a part of character. If you like sex, you like it. There’s nothing good or bad about it. It’s just is.

You could have screwed the half of the planet before meeting your “one and only”, and you’re happy to settle with them and cherish till the day you die.

You may be the one who decided to save themselves for the right one, and then cheat on them to your heart content.

You never know! The number of the partners before is irrelevant. The only concern in the relationship should be “future” in which ideally you’d be the only one.

So why “the talk”?

7 thoughts on “Exes

  1. It is always best to say, without hesitation, “five”. It’s bullshit, of course, but no-one is likely to call your bluff. It’s a small enough number to be perceived as both modest and moderate which works (for completely different reasons) whether you are male or female. On the other hand, it is a number sufficiently large to prevent anyone putting themselves (or you) through the agony of relating all the details.

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      1. It’s good (though, ultimately, disappointing) to idealise. But foolish to idolise. I sense that you are well aware of the difference. And I, too, have had occasional reoccurring infections of youthful naivety. But they seem to be under control of late.

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      2. I am afraid, it’s not enough “sheep’s blood” in me for that. However, sometimes I feel, like it would make life more easier (and ultimately duller). Such a funny word “control” – a lot of meaning, but not that much sense.

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