“I am a selfish monster
I taint. I break. I cheat.
I am dishonest, vile creep.
I will deceive and hurt you.
the words you murmur –
They’re not true.
No one can love me,
And, certainly, not you.”
You say. You shout:
“Leave me alone. You’ll sway!”
I hug you tightly. “Silly thing
“I am inclined to stay, and will.”
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I am a rogue
I cheat. I lie.
I wonder if
You’ll testify
For you are weak
And I am strong
You felt beneath me
All along
Did not repel
My fast advance
Did not hold tight
Your underpants
Did not protect
Your fragile pride
Did not eject me
From the ride
But just remember
Who I am
A substitute
A fake. A scam.
Do not assume
I feel your pain
Do not make
This mistake. Again
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Now this is…breath-taking. But for the sake of fun
I am weak,
It’s not a secret.
I was meek,
and tried to keep it.
Not caring
Where I stand,
and swearing,
if I can.
So what if I
chose you from all.
At least, the lie,
is standing tall.
So, let it go
and let it be.
And do not chose
mistakes
for me.
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I’ve bowed before you once before
I shall do it … one time more
I know you well. I recognise
the glint of mischief in your eyes
I stand before you. Face to face
Another time. Another place.
When we were lovers, vain and young
Darling, what have we become?
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What we designed us to become,
Ignoring fright and changing seasons,
and choosing right
for glaringly wrong reasons.
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I am an old man, Lizardin. You are exhausting me.
I barely notice the seasons. I no longer ponder the reasons.
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Would it surprise you if I said I am not even remotely apologetic for that?
Which, unfortunately, I do as well,
Sometimes it’s heaven. Sometimes -hell.
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Any sweet apology
Would be for you and not for me
I don’t conspire. Don’t offend
I don’t tell lies. But I pretend
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I’ll try to keep my thorns at bay,
But sometimes they do not obey.
So if I stumble or I sway,
I hope there’ll be another day
to play with words and meanings
in disguise, which are not truth
but not quite lies.
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