Today I saw a wedding.
At least ,a part of it.
The family and the groom came to pick up the bride, and as curious as we are , living in a big city but still clinging to the “village curiosity” or this is a cultural thing? I struggle to answer.
Anyway, we were gaping, stretching our necks to see the bride – will she be pretty? Will her dress suit her? Intrusive folk, trying to snatch a glimpse of strangers’ happiness.
She came out – bright as a sun and demanding as an empress. She swiftly started commanding, pointing to this or that side; people running around her – a general.
I giggled, finding it amusing.
The groom got in the cabriolet, and then a funny thing happened. She told him something, asking him to move from the back sit. I didn’t understand at first, but when she settled there, lovingly arranging her dress and her husband to be went to sit on the front sit my brain faltered.
The hell? I thought, while the car drove away. My Mum, who at the time was watching the spectacle with me, caught my eye and we exchanged a look, shaking our heads.
The bride’s understanding of “love” didn’t echo with ours and we were quick to “judge”. Not condemn but snigger, and pitied the groom.
Naturally, it does not matter, but it got me thinking how vastly different the understanding of “care”, “loyalty”, “love”, “attachment”, “partnership” and “relationship” actually is.
It’s not a new thought. Far from it. I am acutely aware how different the world is for any given person at any given time. The same situations has infinite colours and tastes for participants. Depends on many factors from upbringing till the capacity for depth.
What I saw is not necessarily what happened, but it’s my piece of illusion, so I go with my understanding (perception) of it.
Basically, what happened there is a clash of values, and I recoiled from “alien” ones with a snooty snort.
I cannot imagine treating my loved one, like that – ever. Since, I would love to be close to them, pamper them and show them. I am open and greedy, like that. And to send my fiancé to sit on the front sit of the car because of the forking dress!? AHAHAHAHA!
But that’s me.
He may be (and I presume is, since he marries her) fine with it and probably sees nothing wrong with the situation.
There are a lot of things that do not bother people. They perceive it as normal, and that’s all right. Since, I know for a fact that my perception of “love and attachment” may come off as odd and will for many individuals.
Thus, if I want to be happy I need to find a person that has approximately the same view on the relationship and care; too bad my “values and priorities” are out of style these days, since, it’s apparently “ok” to choose your dress over your man.