by Lizardin Bain

Age problems

I am in that age when everybody is starting to get annoyingly concerned about the lack of husband and babies in my life.

Seriously, why the hell is it so important? Men, please, tell me you get nagged ’bout the lack of the wife to? Pretty, please.

Not babies, though. Or that’s a thing as well?

Anyhow, I am in the age of “ticking clock” and “last chance” to get some, and nobody seems to get that I don’t want any. They only give me pitying smiles, eyes twinkling in understanding way and patting my shoulder sympathetically; saying “you will regret it later”; “it’s a woman’s nature”; “you need to lower your standards”; “why don’t you like this guy!? He’s perfect!” blah, blah, blah.

Fork you all!

I love ’em. I really do and I get it. They are concerned but it’s not my fault that their perception of happy life does not align with mine.

I never wanted to get married. Ever. It’s not my goal.

I am not afraid to be alone. I am not afraid to be lonely. I do not need a man to take care of me, and children….well, that’s optional. Reeeeeeealy optional.

I haven’t dreamed about my wedding. I dreamt of other things. I dream of other things, and even if the potential romantic relationship slip in to those – well, it’s a bit different.

I am happy on my own. I’ve been happy on my own for as long as I can remember. I do not need anyone to complete me, sweep me of my feet and make everything glow. It’s a shity motivation to have when entering any kind of relationship.

Let’s face it – no one can fix you, besides you. You are your own “life line” and “saviour”. The other person is just that – the other person. Sure, you can be lucky enough to meet a highly compatible human being and then your life will become more fun than it is, but if not – who the hell said you cannot be happy on your own?

And those mediaeval expectations and dogmas – URGH!

“You need to cook, clean the house, be a doll (according to the latest fashion-insanity), produce babies, never complain, have a golden heart, interesting personality, engaging character, be great in bed; close your eyes on rudeness, infidelity and take care of every desire your husband will have.”

The fork!?

What he supposed to do!? And men (and I mean men not boys), don’t take offence. I personally believe that you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself and you don’t need a mother-hen, but – society and it’s standards.

Or the complete opposite:

“I am an independent woman. Don’t tell me what to do! I won’t clean and care for you. I ain’t you mother for fork’s sake! I do what, who and when I want. You have no say in this – what so ever!”

Then why the hell you are in a relationship at all, I wonder…

However, it does not matter. My point is, why it’s so hard to get that there are people who are not fixed on this? Why this maniacal wish to hunt and tie and possess? Are you happy like this? Are you all-right with a lying, abusive cheater or passively aggressive, deadly harpy?

All-right? Why? Because you’re afraid to be alone? Because reasons?

No, no, no.

I don’t want a man because “reasons” and a baby, because “my time is running out.”  I don’t care if I die alone and there will be no-one who will bury me. I’ll be dead, geniuses. I won’t care ’bout rotting bag of bones.

What I care ’bout, though, is genuine connection. A wish to stay together “till death do us apart”, and not a divorce layer. A need to grow together; to fall in love every second; to explore and discover; to create and built; to talk; to travel; to live a life that we can be both proud of – to be happy.

But then, according, to all of mine – I ask for too damn much; am idealistic and should start looking for a cat.

Whatever, it’s not my priority, anyway.

BUT!

and here we go again…

 

 

23 thoughts on “Age problems”

  1. This is such a great post. I am with you 100%. The minute we fail to conform to societal norms there must be something wrong’ with us., at least that is what many will say. It is okay to be picky about who we want to spend life with. It is also okay to not want children. And, it is perfectly okay to simply enjoy the people and world around us without having to be tethered to another human being. Love this!

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      1. I really do. Here’s to living life in a way that makes you happy and content and you are welcome 🙂 ❤

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  2. I completely agree! Be happy with who you are. The rest will come in time…or it won’t. And yes…. children are wonderful but REALLY optional. I would never wish away my kids…I love them more than words…but looking back I wish I’d known it was a choice. I may have made the same decision… but as it was I felt it was an obligation which changes how you feel about it.

    Well said!

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  3. I completely agree. You can’t please everyone and you should not try even. Everything they say might be true but every soul has right to search it’s own truth. You mistakes , your achievements all should be yours. Design and craft your own life. Its too short to live safe secure and binded in rules.
    Good luck powerpuff girl. Great post

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  4. Yes! Let’s be alone together! I’ve gone back and forth on this for years and have decided that moments of loneliness are far better than the risk of getting in a screwed up relationship.

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  5. Don’t question how I choose to live
    Don’t offer an alternative
    Please don’t tell me what to do
    This is me. I’m not like you
    And don’t suggest my only use
    Is to help you reproduce
    Don’t fuck with me – I have a plan
    Don’t need a woman. Or a man

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      1. Hmmmm …. well, I don’t know if you really meant to put the ‘h’ in whine …. it does rather change the message … hopefully not some sort of Freudian slip ….
        All I ask for is release
        A quiet place to die in peace
        No-one looking up to me
        No responsibility

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      2. Darn…I didn’t mean to…I’ve made the slip (hopefully because I was chastising my cat at the time for whining) and laughed for a bit…then went to changed it but failed spectacularly…oh, well 🙂
        The tired mind
        in peace, at last
        No debts to sign
        No sins to pass.

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      4. Your clever words..they make me laugh
        (I swear that I’ll say “sorry” to my cat)
        I’m glad we’re good, my clumsiness aside,
        Thank you for yet another pleasant vibe.

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  6. I so agree with you. You decide what is important in your life and stick to it and do what brings you happiness. The other person will always be the other person. Societal norms are not 100% happiness guaranteed. Marriages fail and so does the relationships so at the end of it do what your desires and let people say what they want to say.

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